joks

Lion Tamer
wo unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming.""Yes I do!""Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?""Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.""Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?""Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down.""Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?""Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him.""Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do then?""Well, then I pick up some of the shit that's on the bottom of the cage, and I throw it in his eyes, and I run out ofthe cage.""Well, what if there ain't no shit in the bottom of the cage? What you gonna do then?""Well, that's dumb. Cause if that lion comes at me, and he throws the chair out of the cage, and he bites the whip in two, and my gun don't work, there's going to be some shit on the bottom of that cage, you can bet on that."

To or 2 or Too Line Jokes

He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time

A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!

What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!

I want to share Everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS Every single second of day Let us START with your ATM Password first.

Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken. Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!

When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer : On their Wedding !!

Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!

Q: Why doesn't the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Should Women Have Children After 35?Banta Replied: No, 35 Children Are More Than Enough!

Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called? Student: I don't know. Teacher: They r called Turks.Now What r the people of Germany called?Student: They r called Germs.

Sardarji Jokes

Race to the Sun:

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Delivered:

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing.

The report said, "DELIVERED".

Smart Sardarji:

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa." Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500. The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

What Are You Smuggling?:

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'

'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'